Wearin' shades against the brightness,
Amblin' in those jeans of tightness,
There's no one quite like Mista V -
He's just as hot as he can be!
To gaze into those eyes so blue,
There's nothing that we wouldn't do:
We'd buy him bright red boxer shorts,
We'd sit with him while watching sports,
And pretend that we like his team,
While spoon-feeding him his ice cream.
As long as we could see that smile,
We'd even babysit young Kyle.
When with that grin so wide and sly
He flirts with Amy over pie,
We wish that we could take her place,
A goofy smile upon our face.
And we respect our Sheriff Jim -
So much is always asked of him:
Like gunning down a nut like Hubble,
Investigating alien trouble,
Or checking out a kitchen fire;
He'll even fix a girl's flat tire!
He's there whenever there's a crime...
No, you don't see him wasting time,
Adrift in whimsies and daydreams
While munching endless Krispy Kremes!
Yet there's no one in all Roswell
Who understands him - we can tell.
Those aliens would like him dead,
Topolski whacked him on the head,
And Kyle wants way too much attention,
And so much more that we won't mention!
But we his fans appreciate
How hard he works... we think he's great!
Because he's not like every cop,
We boink his pages to the top...
He's tough, he's smart, and he's SO fine,
We're proud to be his Valentine!
Just one more thing we gotta say:
Without a doubt, we all would pay
And give our arm to again see
That nekkid pic of Mista V!